Posted at 7:30 AM Jun 18, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
I'm too tired to fight the patriarchy this morning, so I'll fight stupid advice instead. Today on YourTango, a fine example of how women are made to feel so bad about themselves when a date doesn't end in marriage and a baby and ZOMGFOREVERZ. The video feature is called "The Number One Reason Why He Didn't Call You Back."
Finding out this "number one reason" allows you to fix what's wrong with you, yourself, so that you, the problem can get a man, which is what you need.
In case you don't have the time, the energy, or a nearby barfbag, I'll spoil the ending: YourTango's "dating expert" interviewed like a million dudes and found that the reason he didn't call you back is because you fit the personality profile of a "Boss Lady." That means you're smart, beautiful, funny and winning--but "he'd rather hire you than date you." (Because, of course, men do the hiring 'round here.) An example of one of the awful things "Boss Ladies" do is make jokes about how the dude doesn't like curry.
- Three More Reasons He Didn't Call You Back - He didn't like your shoes, he's not looking for a serious relationship, you smell like a catbox. Who fucking cares? He didn't call you back, and you wanted him to call you back. Too bad, but that's dating. Move on.
- How To Get Him To Call You Back - How about: Have one of those incredibly rare connections wherein both people on a date have a really great time, are both totally looking for a relationship and are emotionally stable. Other than that, I guess, you could give him the blowjob of a lifetime.
- The Most Outrageous Reasons He Didn't Call You Back - Again, who fucking cares? If he has an "outrageous" reason for not calling you back, then it's probably a fluke and not worth worrying over, anyway. Take home lesson: it's not your fault, quit reading dating advice and get your ass to the library or a bar or work or something fun.
- Why He Didn't Call You Back, Live! Edition - Lady, he didn't call you back because you're going on a live Internet advice show trying to find out why that one guy from like four years ago didn't call you back after that one mediocre date. Mystery solved.