Top 10 Best New Career Paths For Carrie Prejean
Posted at 5:00 AM Jun 17, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
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Oh, poor, poor Carrie Prejean. In addition to the fact that she can barely write English, keep scheduled appointments or talk to people like they're human beings, she's now lost her job as Miss California. What's a whiny bigot to do? Well, we have a few ideas. Carrie, now that you've got a lot more free time to learn all about opposite marriage, may we suggest also looking into one or more of these promising careers. 'Cause all that plastic surgery you're going to be getting over the next fifty years isn't going to pay for itself. (Anymore.)
10. Flight attendant
Fact: Carrie Prejean loves, loves, loves to hear herself talk. And obviously she doesn't care if what she says makes any sense or is just plain hateful bigotry. By pursuing a career as a flight attendant, Prejean will get to use her modeling skills (maybe she can make the oxygen mask attractive?) and yammer into an intercom to a group of people who are very, very unlikely to be paying attention to what she says. Damage minimalized all around.
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9. Contestant on that one reality show with Paris Hilton about being BFF's
All's I know is, nobody's ever watched this show and no one is ever likely to watch this show. I don't even know what it's called. But if we can get Hilton and Prejean wrapped up with each other and convinced they're remotely relevant by being on "reality" television with a target audience whose intelligence is about that of a chihuahua with Alzheimer's, we may just do the ole' two-birds-one-stone thing.
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8. Evangelical Christian camp counselor
This will prevent us from having to hear her ridiculous yammering--methinks even E! wouldn't pay to set up a satellite feed in some remote parts of this country--and will provide her with the echo chamber she so clearly desires. Neat trick!
7. WWE Wrestler
AND IN THIS CORNER: SHE MAY BE BEAUTIFUL, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S NOT DANGEROUS! Watch as Carrie "The Queen" Prejean pulls her signature move: acting entitled and intolerable until her opponents just give the fuck up. Bonus: Carrie will get to meet lots of dudes who love spandex, an area in which she clearly lacks expertise.
6. Marriage counselor
"Uh, ya'll, I don't know what the problem is. You are a man and a lady! You should love each other! Opposite marriage works!" Exuent Carrie, crying.
Comments
Flight attendent? Her? She'd love a career that has more gays in it than her previous gig!
Posted 06/17/2009 at 07:36:10 AM#1 should be porn...correction...WILL BE porn. Opposite type porn only, of course!
FoF, damn you beat me to it! Although karma dictates she will end up fucking some chick with a huge double dildo.
Posted 06/17/2009 at 08:23:58 AMSorry, but being against gay marriage does not mean being evil or hating gays. I'm all for gay marriage, partly because I am against the government having anything to do with marriage but mostly for reasons of equality. That being said, if someone wants to vote against it in California (where over half the state has seemed to fall) then that is their right as an acting democratic body. Really. Sheesh. Nobody is evil for having a different view on marriage. If she came out with hate-talk against letting gays live, that is another thing entirely. If she were against gays having jobs, I think the argument about her being so evil would carry more weight.
This article does treat the former beauty queen the way she should be treated: as a silly spectacle that is easily derided and belittled. But that is because she's done all this to herself. Anyway...
Posted 06/17/2009 at 11:20:35 AMSorry, Calvin. I think wanting to deny people's basic civil rights is hateful and bigoted.
Posted 06/17/2009 at 11:25:58 AMNah, I have to agree with Calvin.
It was damned ballsy for her to admit her true beliefs and stick with them. In that kind of contest it's very easy to study your judges and cater to their questions to garner approval. She didn't say she's "anti-queer" or something crude, she just stated that she felt marriage is between a man and a woman. Rather politely.
I believe the contestants should be judged according to their grace and the question portion is to see if they can coherently answer a question in an interview situation gracefully, without stuttering or repeating themselves, mispronouncing things, etc. I'd imagine a lot of very intelligent people in the spotlight with the cameras and the audience and the questions and pressure would do just that, crack. She did pretty well, even though I don't agree with her.
Saying she's a bigot and can't be Miss California or Miss America because she doesn't share the same beliefs as the judges is intolerant.
Imagine if instead, they had dismissed her because she didn't believe in Jesus Christ, or Scientology, or was a Democrat/Republican, or didn't like a certain type of music?
Aren't beauty queens women, too? Can't they have their own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs? Should she have to cater to the men running the competition?
Whenever you want to make a drastic social change, the most certain way to get it to fail is to push it all the way ASAP.
The one way to cause an uproar against homosexuals is to attack marriage and family (teaching young children in school) before any groundwork is laid.
What's wrong with Civil Unions? There is SO much more support for it than for gay marriage. You can add all the same rights, legal protections and intentions as gay marriage, but just changing the wording increases the support for it greatly.
Then you wait some years. Are people going to really call tell a married gay couple they are "Unioned?" No. Pretty soon everyone would call them Married and it'll be something to get changed on the books that society has already accepted.
Baby steps folks, societies don't just accept things, even in they're right.
Posted 06/17/2009 at 08:20:33 PMamarygma - beauty queens are, of course, women (well, some of them) and they're entitled to say whatever they want, same as anybody else. And of course they're also entitled to be Miss California or Miss America, even if they want to deny large groups of people a basic civil right based on sexual orientation (I imagine there were a number of beauty queens back in the 50s and 60s who thought black people shouldn't be allowed to marry white people, but I reckon nobody was de-crowned for that, either.)
But as all evidence so far as shown, Prejean wasn't fired for her beliefs, she was fired for violating her contractual obligations as Miss California. She didn't do the job she was hired for, so she lost the job.
Posted 06/17/2009 at 08:28:08 PMI think Calvin and Amarygma are exactly what this world needs, more rational people. Just cause one person doesn't believe in gay marriage isn't the end of the world, the majority of people today really don't believe in inter-racial marriage (but they don't say it out loud). Blasting someone for their beliefs just puts people on the defensive.
As for marriage being a right, is it? Marriage has deep ties to religion. Thus, religion is the major decider in what is seen as "marriage". Christianity being the dominant religion, the accepted view of marriage is between a man and a woman. If you think about it, the main legal issues for marriage is for property, parental guardianship, and tax breaks. Take aways the tax breaks and you have something that could be accomplished through a lawyer. Marriage doesn't even give the spouse power of attorney over anything. So what is marriage when you take away the few legal entitlements? It is a religious promise between two people, something which everyone is entitled to their own damn opinion.
Posted 06/17/2009 at 09:04:06 PM"Just cause one person doesn't believe in gay marriage isn't the end of the world, the majority of people today really don't believe in inter-racial marriage (but they don't say it out loud)".
Really? Because I know tons of interracial couples(with interracial parents) with multiracial kids. I believe in interracial marriage and I'm saying it out loud...
How many of the "majority" of people have you spoken with that have "whispered" to you that they don't believe in interracial marriage?
"Blasting people" is the same as your version of free speech. So speak up and so will I...
Posted 06/18/2009 at 06:33:42 AM