The Top 10 Most Obnoxious Songs To Sing At Karaoke
Posted at 5:00 AM Jun 24, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
Americans are pretty good at flubbing up just about everything we import from Japan--as someone who spent junior high obsessed with Sailor Moon, I feel especially qualified to comment on this point. Karaoke is no exception. Yes, there are magic moments when the stars align and all is right with this country's most favoritest Japanese-inspired activity (sorry, grocery store sushi.) But then there are moments when you're just like, really, dude, this song? This is about those moments: the top ten most obnoxious songs to sing at karaoke.
10. Don't Stop Believing - Journey
Everybody loves and knows this song, especially on karaoke night. And yes, it's a great song. That's the problem. It is time for "Don't Stop Believing" to go the way of the trucker hat. Wait ten years and do it again, maybe then it'll be fresh and fun and ironic. Now it's just ubiquitous. If you're going to treat the '80s with karaoke irony, at least try to come up with something unexpected.
9. Any shitty pop song you don't intend to seriously fuck up
If you can't make Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me" sound like it's being sung by Lemmy or David Byrne, walk away from the karaoke playbook. Because if you don't maul that thing like you're a karaoke tiger, you're gonna be the sad gal who everybody thinks will, like, totally have another Smirnoff Ice, OMG.
8. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
This is usually an especially awkward choice made by a dude who's been prodded by his friends to "SING SOMEHTINGMANHAHAHA" but doesn't actually know the words to anything in the karaoke book. But he listened to enough Nirvana back in the day to get the classics down, resulting in the saddest performance of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" since, well, Kurt Cobain sang the thing himself. Karaoke backing tracks do not rock, and this song must rock. Unless Dave Grohl is actually playing the drums behind you, refrain.
7. Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
It's hard to single out any one Dave Matthews song as being more karaoke-tragic than another, but "Crash Into Me" is as good as any to crap on. For its wussy sincerity and whiny tone, "Crash" wins for worst possible DMB song to sing in public. Yes, I believe dudebros and sorority girls should love and sing karaoke as much as anyone. But I'd rather watch a Tri-Delt stilleto stumble through Coldplay's "Clocks" any day.
6. Just A Girl - No Doubt
Ooooowwwoooohhhh -- I've had it up to here ... with grown-ass ladies who are not Gwen Stefani singing this at karaoke. I guess if they start letting teenaged girls into karaoke bars, this would be kind of cute to watch, especially among a gaggle of high schoolers. There was a time when it was awesome to idolize Gwen, to imitate her, to love her beyond belief. And then you graduate high school, and that time is over. By all means, continue to love this awesome band. By all means, do that by not disrespecting the karaoke stage. If you've gotta do some ND, go for "Don't Speak" and at least cry into your beer during the guitar solo.
Comments
#10 has called to me many a time, but I don't know how much longer I can resist its siren song.
Posted 06/24/2009 at 06:56:26 AMCan we add "I Will Survive" to this list? I have seen waaaay to many drunk ladies fiercely over-singing this to their non-present ex to let it go on. It's sad and embarassing and the song should be banned from karaoke!
Posted 06/24/2009 at 07:27:55 AMExcellent suggestion, BorgQueen. Dunno how that one slipped my mind. Train wreck, ahoy!
Posted 06/24/2009 at 07:29:23 AM"The Rose" by Bette Midler.
Posted 06/24/2009 at 07:42:44 AMWell, in the Boston area at least, "Sweet Caroline" is always a big hit. Go Sox!
Posted 06/24/2009 at 08:10:28 AMUh oh ... "Don't Stop Believin'" was always my karaoke staple, except for one time when I was pretty much forced to sing "Hangin' by a Moment" by Lifehouse. On reflection, maybe I should just stay away from Karaoke altogether.
Posted 06/24/2009 at 09:15:07 AMI've come to realize Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" is a new staple and it's always sung by some drunk broad looking at some poor schmuck at the bar.
Posted 06/24/2009 at 11:15:26 AM"Living On a Prayer"
Every place I have been where there is karaoke, if it is not "Don't Stop Believin", it's "Living On A Prayer".
Posted 06/24/2009 at 11:29:11 AMOkay, this is a quick note to any other dudes who might be reading: please remember, as you're thumbing through the book to see which cuts from Appetite for Destruction are available, that Axel in his prime had almost superhuman breath control. No matter how awesome you think your rendition of "Paradise City" will be, the odds are good that you will pass out trying to get through the warp-speed verses. Thank you and karaoke safe.
Posted 06/24/2009 at 12:27:16 PMI'm getting sick of Taylor Swift. Kudos for the Dave Matthews Band reference. I stopped listening to him after college. Can you say "Sappy", I knew you could.
Posted 06/24/2009 at 01:25:14 PM"Black Velvet"- ugh
Posted 06/24/2009 at 01:44:42 PMThis is a really great top ten list. "Sweet Caroline" may be the most over sung Karaoke Song ever, but there's a reason. No other song has the same sing-along-ability as it does. "Don't Stop Believing" has a special place in my heart, although no amateur does Steve Perry justice. Anyone can post their own list to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.
Posted 06/24/2009 at 10:44:36 PMOkay, I realize this is a really old post but I wanted everyone to know that in Portland, OR singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is VERBOTEN.
That's German. I speak German.
Okay, I don't but the Bonnie Tyler thing is true.
Posted 09/26/2009 at 09:13:07 AMCan we become a good singer a singing with karaoke? Where can i find good collection of karaoke?
Posted 09/27/2009 at 02:59:38 AM