Posted at 1:00 PM May 15, 2009By Andrea Grimes
Your vaginae are wonderful, magical places of wonderful magic. They can do so many things, from sexing to babies to bleeding profusely! Yay, vaginae! So please don't think what I'm about to ask of you stems in any way from fear or disgust regarding the vagina. But we have really, really got to address this again:
When you give birth, do not update your Facebook status with information regarding the extent of your vaginal dilation.
I know you're the first and only person ever to have a baby and it's so amazing and miraculous. I get it. I also get how birth works, and while I could imagine your little Cabbage Patcher squeezing through your ladyhole, I chose not to. So please don't force me into the visual by invading my Facebook homepage with things like "Kayla is at 8cm!! TIME TO START PUSHING!" Do you even realize how many wacky cat videos I have to watch to get that picture out of my head?