Posted at 5:00 AM May 27, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
Ever championing the missing white woman, ever judging those that need be judged, Nancy's is one of the most terrifying presences on modern television--right up there with the ShamWow guy. Prepare thyself with holy water--or a whiskey--and read on for the ten most terrifying things about Nancy Grace.
10. Her knack for faux empathy
If there's one thing Nancy Grace cares about, it's appearing to care. Listen to the strained, concerned whine as she tries to whittle away at kidnapping victim Elizabeth Smart:
It's bad enough that this lawyer uses common sense to disagree with Grace's extreme nuttiness--but he has the nerve to stutter, too! Heinous holier-than-thou mocking at 1:06.
8. Her complete and total unpredictability
You'd expect Nancy to go right-wing batshit over Miley Cyrus' sexy amateur shots, right? Well, she did--but on her way to going right-wing, she went no-wing, defending Miley's right to be shot in a wet t-shirt in the shower. What could possibly be sexual about that?
Sure, it's a crime show, so you figure practically anything to do with the law is fair game. But really, Nancy, anything to do with the law? Including some random Hulk Hogan crap? Isn't there a missing white woman out there you need to yammer about?
When she's not haranguing guests, Grace greets her audience with the strained warmth of a mother-in-law. Doesn't this sign-off give you the warm fuzzies? No? Though to be fair, it's likely whoever's on the other side of one of Grace's broadcasts is as close a friend as the lady has.