Top Ten Best (or is it Worst?) Euphemisms for a Woman's Period

Posted at 5:00 AM Apr 13, 2009

By Jennifer Mathieu

You know, most women I know never use coy or silly euphemisms for their period.  They just say, "I have my period."  Or, "I'm on my period."  Why is it, then, that we have a cornucopia of slang terms for, well, that time of the month?  And are they insulting or funny?  I can't decide.  But I can list them.

10. It's that time of the month.

My favorite time of the month is actually payday...or Friday...or the time of the month when my new copy of USWeekly shows up in the mail (and that's actually four times a month, woo hoo!).  But I never understood what "that time of the month" was supposed to suggest.  A lot of things happen in a month.  Your period is just one of them.

9. Aunt Flo's coming for a visit.

Hardy har har.  Good old Aunt Flo.  Does she (gasp!) have red hair?  Is she really grouchy and mean?  Will she stay for five days?  The jokes go on and on.  The thing is, you know that there really is an honest-to-God Aunt Florence out there whose feelings are hurt every time she hears this remark.

8. There's a Red Party tonight at Club Menses.

One of my gay male friends suggested this one, of course.  Clever, I suppose.  And at least it implies that your period is not a reason to stay home and skip the party, right?  Woot woot!

7. She's on the rag.

A historical euphemism.  Why?  Because at one time women actually did used to use rags to collect menstrual flow.  Most women now do not (as Cathy Rigby adorably reminds us in this 1980 ad for Stayfree.)  Yet despite Cathy Rigby, this saying persists, and it's usually used in a pejorative way.  By the way, women also used to use grass to collect menstrual flow.  But nobody says she's on the Scott's Miracle-Gro.  Now that has a ring to it. 


Vince said:

The tears of a disappointed uterus. wow, is all I have to say. I've heard some good ones, but that's my new favorite. This is a really great top ten list. You can post this to our site and then link back to your site. We are looking for top ten lists and our users can track back to your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

John said:

"Dropping Yolk" always seemed the most classy way to refer to menstruation, but I'm a guy.

Pearly Girl said:

Holy Moly. I hear ya Jennifer. We need the top 10 for why men have cycles, they just don't bleed. Well, I went to a pretty good store that ad"Dressed" my needs. When I get in that time of the month, I need to make myself feel better and I go shopping. Here's a great place to go. They have very cool designer jeans. Here's how I found them, with this link below.

Stick said:

I like "The Curse" it makes me think of Ginger Snaps.

Something my family says, "Fell of the Roof" as in- Did you fall off the roof?
What the hell is that one?

Mortira said:

I can't stand any of these terms. I once saw a blog featuring names you can use for your toddler's vagina. What's wrong with vagina? By giving our body parts and functions cute and silly names, we're only encouraging the draconic notion that we should be ashamed of them. And we wonder why so many teen girls can't figure out birth control.

Autumn said:

A bunch of my friends (girls mostly)say that they let their zebras out of the cage... Making reference to the fact that they've stopped their birth control (one out of the only 3 times a year) to have their period! I remember how it was thought up... We were 13 I think and my friend said what is black and white and red all over, and another replied a Zebra with its period?...

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