Hotz newz productz helpz u loze da weightz!

Posted at 3:00 PM Apr 28, 2009

By Andrea Grimes

banglz.jpg
ZOMG u can wear dem on ur ANKLZ!
After spending who-knows-how-much on Winsor pilates crap, home weights and more booty-shake-the-fat-away DVD's than I really care to think of, lord knows I was surprised when I finally found myself losing weight the old-fashioned way: by working out and eating better.

Holy effing crap! It really works, people.

So you'll have to exsqueeze me if I'm not totally sold on "Banglz," the workout sensazion that's zweeping zee nazion!

"Banglz" are weighted ... accessories? ... that are supposed to be totes wearable and great for helping you lose weight. 'Cause a $25 1/2 pound wristband is the key to fitness, people. I mean, da keyz to fitnezz! YAY BANGLZ. Gawhd. Methinks if you're worried about how your pretty little wrists and ankles look while you're working out, you're probably doing it wrong. I know we're all looking for the magic solution to our society's obsession with appearances, but this ain't it. If you want to lose weight, drop the silly gimmicks and go the damned gym, or the park, or dance in your damned house if you want to lose weight.

And besides, ya know what doesn't make me want to lose weight? Being sold a product with a random plural "z" at the end. No, Banglz really just make me want to drinkz morez zo i forgetz how incredibly lame they are. And that means MOAR CALORIEZ! LOLZ.

It is with a heavy (1/2 lb?) heart that I file this post under "fashion." Sighz.


Comments

Anne Packrat said:

They marketed this to little girls when I was a kid. Guess they're just repackaging them now.

J.J said:

You know wearing weights during your normal day, be it sandbag braclets or leg weights can actually help you lose weight and increase you running speed. Back in college when I ran track we had traning shoes that had a 1lb weight in each shoe built in. Other then fear of shattering your ankle at any time they actually did help keep my running speed up

andrea said:

J.J., I can see how adding weight to someone already involved with a training routine could benefit from "banglz." What I don't see is how these as they are marketed--as accessories, as easy/breezy ways of losing weight--are supposed to help.

J.J said:

Fair enough on that point.

I mean even if you are not traning they would help a little, but it would be about the same amount that you would get by carring around a teacup poodle in a purse all day.

That and actually looking at them I can see someone walking around in flip flops and rolling their ankles big time

Anne Packrat said:

@J.J But with the Banglz, you don't have to worry about little dog turds all over your make up.

David said:

Banglz sayz "No Haterz"

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