A napper's lament, or, how cruel! Nature!

Posted at 4:49 PM Apr 02, 2009

By Andrea Grimes

naps.jpg
O, woman! What a role you must play in life's unending tome.

O, Nature! You are a cruel, cruel mistress. O society! Truly, you treat us poorly.

Menstruation ... lament!

Unequal pay ... lament!

But ah, to say it plainly:

Creator! Take not away our naps!

Say, if you will, that the old crone's daily repose does not decrease her vitality!

Say, indeed you must, that science is a corpulent prevaricator of some significant size!

What a burden to bear, womanity, from first breath to last: torturous childbirth, vexing footwear of terrible affliction, media scrutiny of all things corporeal, cultural objectification of all things sexual.

Womanity! Your burden is great, yea, until your dying day.

Nap not, lest ye meet an early grave.

Comments

David said:

Congratulations.

This is possibly the first Heartless Doll Post that I might need a degree in English Literature to understand.

Since I don't have one of those......

;-)

Susan said:

Someone please explain to me what "non-cardiovascular and non-cancer related" ways of dying are. I think that's a made up thing. Like, you take a nap and you're more likely to fall down the stairs? I buy that. Naps make me feel loopy. But that should be true for men and young women as well.

Albo said:

Way to perpetuate the things you claim to struggle against.

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