Posted at 5:00 AM Apr 22, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
Mr. Coolsexypants. There he is, on his motorcycle/in his vintage car. Wearing his Beatle boots/skinny jeans/Middle Eastern scarf. He's on his way to his band's show/a soul DJ night/the VIP room. He is the James Dean, the Johnny Depp, the Brad Pitt.
I want no part of him.
Give me a boy with an action figure collection, exhaustive knowledge of surf rock or degree in information science. Make him a little awkward and too shy around important people. Ensure that he drives a crappy car and doesn't wear name brands not because he's all anti, but because he honestly doesn't care. I love this man. He may be a geek, a nerd or a dork, but I'll take him over Johnny Depp any day. Indeed, there are great things about loving guys who don't fit into the classical "cool" stereotypical mold. And no-so-great things. But I'll be damned if that'll stop me.
The worst things about dating nerds are ...
5. Fighting over who gets to finish while looking at the TV when you have sex to the collected works of Joss Whedon
You're just going to have to take turns on this one.
4. Waking Up With Boba Fett Stuck In The Crook of Your Elbow
No, not the real Boba Fett--although I've dated some guys who might find that threesome hot--the little Boba Fett that fell off the shelf above his bed. With his little plastic gun crammed into your arm. The only gun I want touching my arm early in the morning is attached to my boyfriend, TYVM.
(5 worst, cont.)
3. Waiting while he enters a Geek Pissing Contest
The first few minutes at the comic fair or photo expo when your guy is nerding out with the vendor are cute and informative. You, too, could stand to learn a thing or two about this stuff--and probably want to, anyway. But if the Who's A Bigger Expert competition starts, you either settle in for a long haul of geek pissing contests or get back to reading Moby Dick on your iPhone. 'Cause it ain't over until someone's dropped an insane amount of cash on something they didn't need.
2. Constantly running out of sunscreen
I'm already pasty as hell, milky even. Dating geeky guys who have a similar aversion to sun means forking over a hell of a lot of cash on sunny days that demand trips to the park and pool. Forget buying enough Kashi for two when you shack up together--you're going to be keeping Banana Boat in business.
If there's one thing cool dudes do well, it's insincerity. Which, for a girl who can't take a compliment and would rather make dick jokes than talk about poetry, is awesome. So a geek guy's intense sincerity about anything--including his girlfriend--can be unnerving. Can't we stop talking about our feelings and get back to talking about Rahm Emanuel's latest gaffe?
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