Top 10 Memorable '80s Dance Moves

Posted at 5:00 AM Feb 09, 2009

By Jennifer Mathieu

I was sitting around my house, mindin' my own, when it occurred to me that I am completely unaware of any current dance trends. Now this could be my age (although I don't think being in your early thirties exactly qualifies for the old age home), or it could just be the fact that there are simply not as many rockin' out dance moves anymore. Not like the glorious decade of my youth, when we gave names to every spastic gyration that hit the dance floor. For your viewing pleasure (thank God for YouTube), here are the top 10 memorable '80s dance moves according to yours truly.

10. The Pat Benatar "Love Is A Battlefield" Shimmy


"If you leave this house, you can forget about coming back!" What's weird is that the mother in this video looked about as old as Pat Benatar. Anyway, the dancing. In this classic '80s story video, Benatar runs away from home (at the age of 30?!) and starts dancing in a club while decked out in a dress covered in strips of ripped toilet paper. About three minutes and twenty seconds in, she does that classic Benatar shimmy, a sort of bastardized version of something from Michael Jackson's Thriller video. The weirdest thing about watching this clip is noticing the slightly awkward, questioning look on Benatar's face as she works her shoulders. Kind of like, "Damn, do I look okay or stupid?" Given the fact that this shoulder shimmy is still referenced more than 20 years later kind of makes me think it was a little bit of both.

9. The Cabbage Patch


Okay, so in the video above you see some young teens attempting the Cabbage Patch. I've included this particular clip so you can witness the power of this dance; even years later it's hep with the kids. And they're okay at it, but I get the uneasy sense that they may be mocking it. They are clearly not children of the '80s, so they couldn't possibly understand the sheer joy that came with pretending your elbows were glued into the sides of your body as you circled your fists around and around. Do they even understand this dance was named after the most Gawd-ugly dolls in the history of dolls? (And yes, I owned two.)

8. The Sprinkler


I have actually never seen this dance performed unironically. Was is ever performed seriously, or was it always just suburban kids thinking they were street as they pumped one leg behind them like a dog relieving itself? And the hand pumping behind the head...that was just odd. I actually think this is one of the ugliest dances ever invented. But it certainly did cause a lot of people to fall over, I'm guessing.

7. The Running Man


Waaay tougher than it looks, as evidenced in the above clip in which a man painstakingly explains how to do The Running Man for three and a half minutes. If you don't follow the instructions, you end up looking like a guy jogging in place instead of a totally fresh dude jammin' on the one. Seriously. Get up and try it. Difficult, no?

6. The Worm


The dance that kinda made you look like you were doin' it with an invisible person. And it HURT. (The dance, I mean, not necessarily the doin'.) When performed just right, the look was that of a human worm literally inching across the floor (woah!). When done incorrectly, the whole thing just came off as totally absurd. Performed in unfinished basements and driveways all over America. Attempted by many. Achieved by few.