Top 10 Websites I Wish I'd Never Visited

Posted at 5:00 AM Feb 02, 2009

By Jennifer Mathieu

I'm addicted to the Internet, like everyone else, but there are certain websites I wish I had never visited. Either because they left me with an uncomfortable feeling later (a sort of Internet hangover, if you will), or because they are such an absolute time-suck that I can see myself on my deathbed 60 years in the future wondering if Kitten War is the reason I never finished The Great American Novel. May I present to you now the 10 websites I wish I'd never discovered, much less visited.

10. Rate My Poo

I'm not a squeamish, prudish person by any means, so when I heard about Rate My Poo, I thought, "Gee, that sounds hilarious!"  A sort of parody of the Hot or Not buzz from a few years back, Rate my Poo asks you to, well, rate someone's poo. I know the 10-year-old inside of me still digs fart jokes, so it was with great anticipation and chuckling that I went to Rate My Poo.  This may seem obvious to many of you more normal folks, but I instantly felt a sense of what the Hell have I just done? wash over me - sort of how you feel after a one-night stand, I suppose. I was looking at strangers' poo. Freely and without coercion. Yuck. I will not be back.

9. PostSecret


I'm so into PostSecret that I have it bookmarked, and sometimes I check it late Saturday night on the off chance that the weekly Sunday secrets have been posted early. PostSecret is a brilliant art project turned blog that was created by Frank Warren, and as many of you know, it involves postcards sent to Frank that reveal a deep, dark secret. Frank then selects a few cards to put on his blog each week. While I'm heavily addicted, I always come away from PostSecret a little down. Are there that many unlucky, sad people out there? Whether they're confessing about assault, infidelity, bad parents, or general malaise, PostSecret mostly makes me feel guilty for having such a relatively pleasant life. Aren't there any happy, funny secrets out there?
8. Kitten War


Oh my God, that kitten is so cute! Oh my God, look at that kitten, it is sooooo cute.  Okay, one more battle, and then it's time to get to work. Seriously. Okay, really one more and then that's truly it. But is it possible that somehow these kittens could get cuter? I mean, I'm not sure. I don't know, so in the interest of research, I should really check out the next fight. Oh my GOD I can't take how CUTE they are! Oh. Oh my. It's three in the morning and I think my husband just left me.  

7. Real Doll


You haven't really known true weirdness until you've checked out Real Doll, "The World's Finest Love Doll," and scrolled through the FAQs, including "Can a Real Doll support herself enough to do it doggy style?" Visiting Real Doll, viewing the images, reading the testimonials...it makes you curious as to what much of middle America is really like. But mostly, it just leaves you feeling sorry for all those earnest guys saving up their overtime pay for a Real Doll and hoping she'll be able to do it doggy style in the basement of their mother's house. And what about the guys who can only afford the Real Doll torso? That just breaks my heart, you know? This recession is rough on everybody.
6. WebMD

For many, WebMD is a handy resource full of great information on how to lower your blood pressure or cure back pain. But for a hypochondriac like myself, WebMD is a full cornucopia of death. Each click brings me closer and closer to a horrific diagnosis of terminal cancer or flesh-eating bacteria disease or early onset Alzheimer's. But like all good hypochondriacs, I cannot help myself and return time and time again. Hangnail? Cough? Weird rash? This website always confirms it for me: I've got three to six months left, tops.