Topless Robot

10 Absolutely Useless iPhone Apps that Appeal to Silly Boys

Posted at 5:00 AM Feb 11, 2009

By Bonnie Ruberg

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That gross, 10-year-old sense of humor that seems to stick with most men until old age is kind of charming, right? Not really, and especially not when it's macho-ing up the already boys club-y realm of technology.

With 18,000+ apps now available for the iPhone, some of the things you'll find in the App Store are wonderful, useful additions to everyday life. A pretty large number, though, are totally inane. Below are 10 apps, all of which have seen thousands upon thousands of downloads, that make me shake my head for the future of humanity. Few of these go for more than 99 cents; some are free. Still, it's hard not to gawk in amazement at the amount of money developers have made on these super simple, super silly applications. Check out the examples listed here, but remember: this list could go on, and on, and on. Are we surprised most of this ridiculousness targets boys?

10. iBeer: $1.99
Why drink a beer when you can pretend to drink a beer, right guys? This app, which appears to fill your iPhone screen with alcoholic goodness, responds to tilting, so you can take "sips" of your fake drink. Shake the phone for more foam or pour beer from one phone to another. Cheers.

9. iFart Mobile: 99 cents
Advertising itself as "the world's most popular digital fart machine," iFart does exactly what you think it does: make fart noises. According to developer InfoMedia, the app will not only amuse your friends (um, definitely not your female friends), but it will fend off potential criminals, who'll stay away from your iPhone once they hear it make disgusting noises.

8. iSteam: free (for a limited time)
Shake your iPhone to steam it up, turning your touch screen into a foggy glass window. Move your finger over the screen to draw in the condensation. Let me guess. You drew a penis. How creative.

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7. iToilet: $0.99
Boasting "over 20 ultra realistic bathroom/toilet sound effects" (wouldn't "realistic" have been good enough without the "ultra?"), iToliet makes every life a little better. Want to get out of visiting your wife's parents, the developer asks? Just disappear into the restroom and set your iPhone to "bean burrito." What a brave new world that has such technology in it...

6. Bubble Wrap: Free
 Now this app may be silly and totally useless, but it does have a certain playful charm. Love popping Bubble Wrap? Poke endlessly at the plastic bubbles that appear on your screen. Your mother won't even track you down and yell at you for wasting perfectly good packing materials.

Comments

Tim said:

Wow Bonnie, for someone who is usually all about equality, you sure come across as a hell of a sexist in this post.

Posted 02/12/2009 at 04:25:23 AM
Chris said:

I don't see how iBouncer is useless. It's a popular game with a funny new design.

Posted 07/04/2009 at 08:23:36 AM
BigNatAttack said:

The Name Game from libertymobile.ca should be on this list. My boyfriend dowloaded the StageName edition & is addicted to it. funny inputs + hundreds of original names. I must admit I find myself laughing out loud too.

Posted 11/22/2009 at 12:02:22 PM
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Posted 11/30/2010 at 08:03:50 AM
maymnandres said:

must check for gift to your friends

Posted 08/05/2011 at 02:05:00 AM
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