Posted at 2:45 PM Jan 01, 2009
5. Despite writing in English, my first language was Spanish.
I'm the daughter of Cuban and Chilean immigrants, and my first language was Spanish until I went to preschool and immediately decided to say adios to my beloved native tongue. My bilingual parents gave in, and English soon became the language of choice in our home. Now, years (and a minor in college) later, I am building back my fluency. Por supuesto, I never lost the ability to curse in Spanish.
4. My least favorite word is moist; I love the word mortified.
I try never to use the word moist in my writing. Even now, explaining this entry, it disturbs me to type moist. I don't know why, but I think it's a terrible, disgusting word, and it makes me uncomfortable. I also try to avoid the words cluster, bulbous, and perforated. I hate those words as well. Favorite words include: mortified, staunch, ridiculous, and anomie, among many others.
3. I failed my driver's test the first time and once totaled two cars in two months.
Okay, so I'm not a very good driver. I'm also such a freakish reader that I have this bad habit of trying to read while I drive. Not a good idea, by the way. Fortunately, I spend more time behind the keyboard than the steering wheel.
2. I am the last person on Earth to not own a cell phone.
Well, my husband and I are the last people on Earth to not own a cell phone. It all started when we decided we just didn't want the extra expense, and we really didn't feel we needed them. Now it's really about seeing how long we can go without them - our own personal rebellion, if you will. Plus, there's such a glorious joy that comes with never having to worry about turning off a phone at the movies, and I never have to worry about losing my phone and not knowing anyone's phone numbers. Also, I will never be that asshole on the plane who immediately pulls out the phone to call someone and say, "Well, we just landed." Oh really? Well who fucking cares.
1. I believe low culture is culture, and I hate phonies.
I cannot stand culture snobs. I cannot stand people who claim to love James Joyce because they read Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man in high school and know it's the "right" thing to say James Joyce is a genius. (By the way, I hate James Joyce.) I cannot stand people who quote The New York Review of Books loudly at parties and roll their eyes at Will Ferrell and wouldn't dare listen to a pop song. Frankly, I have a subscription to The New Yorker and US Weekly, and my life would be empty without either one. Like what you like and don't like what you don't like, but don't make apologies for it, and please don't put on airs.