In defense of absinthe

Posted at 3:10 PM Jan 05, 2009

By Andrea Grimes

While the folks at the New York Times Style section are usually busy making up fake trends that are really just about their own anecdotal experience, they went one farther yesterday with an article about absinthe. This time, instead of a regular fake trend, it's a fake trend that sucks! According to writer Eric Konigsberg, absinthe, which was so recently in vogue, is now as passé as En Vogue. How does he know? Well, because he thinks it's lame!

" ... to follow the arc of this craze, like others that have come before (remember cigar bars?) is to see just how quickly something that was once illicit -- and acquired notoriety because of that very illicitness -- can lose its sheen of mystery and become, well, rather uncool ... If absinthe were a band, it would be Interpol, third-hand piffle masquerading as transgressive pop culture. If absinthe were sneakers, it would be a pair of laceless Chuck Taylors designed by John Varvatos for Converse. If it were facial hair, it would be the soul patch. If absinthe were a finish on kitchen and bath fixtures, it would be brushed nickel."

Thank god somebody finally broke the "after something is cool, it'll become uncool!" story. Nothing gets past this guy. Cool Eric goes on to liken absinthe lovers to people who dig Chuck Norris and RPG's. Cool Eric only likes cool things, which are not absinthe and RPG's, which are for nerds. Pour yourself a cold PBR, Eric, and sit yourself down. Commentary: I has it.

I'm taking it all a little harshly because I happen to absolutely love absinthe. And it has nothing to do with being naughty. Yes, absinthe is fun to drink, if you want to get all frou-frou with the sugar and the distilled water and pretending you're seeing a green fairy. But all of this business about sophistication and mystery, with which Eric Konigsberg's take on absinthe seems to be mainly concerned, seems a little silly to me. Absinthe, in its heyday, seems to have been a drug used similarly to the way folks smoke pot today. Makes you loopy, makes stupid things interesting, makes you feel like you're John Lennon even if you're a little closer to Nick Jonas. Chase it with some heroin, well, and you've got your night planned out. Konigsberg can't get past the uber-mystery PR push and evaluate the booze for what it is: fun.

Many folks who really dig absinthe aren't swilling it at bars, ordering it loud enough so that everyone in the room knows what a cool cat they are. Konigsberg's assertion that absinthe is now lame because lame people are drinking it has more to do with the crowd he visited than any real exploration of folks who love the drink. But then we wouldn't get to read a snarky NYT Style section article, would we? Those trends aren't going to identify themselves.

For most of us, drinking absinthe is not only about subversion--absinthe just doesn't taste good enough for that. It's about the glorious pot-like high (or so I've been told--I couldn't tell you what it's like to get high off pot, I'm a dork.) Three tequilas down your gullet, and you're looking at one hell of a sleepy drunk. Three absinthes down your gullet, and you're soaring and smiling.

Eric, you're welcome to come over for an absinthe cocktail any time. And I think that, instead of discovering that if you go to douchey places where douches drink absinthe you're simply more likely to find douches drinking absinthe, you'll discover a very tasty refreshment that doesn't care about cool.