7 Women We Would Like to See on Confessions of a (Female) Teen Idol

Posted at 5:00 AM Jan 12, 2009

By Jennifer Mathieu

Has anyone else seen the latest, most-pathetic creation to ever air on television, Confessions of a Teen Idol on VH1? This reality horror-show follows the saga of seven, former supposed teen idols (most of them were B-list even back in the day) as they try to recreate the apparent celebrity and fame that once followed their every move. Participants of the show include that guy, that other guy that was on that show, the oh I remember that guy, and Christopher Atkins from The Blue Lagoon.

Anyway, it got me thinking. If VH1 ever decides to do a similar show with the ladies, who might be on it?  Now, we don't typically think of women as "teen idols" per se, but I know as a teenager back in the day that I was pretty interested in whatever it was Alyssa Milano was doing to stay so pert and perky. (Never fear, Alyssa, your spin on Charmed has saved you from appearing on this list.) Plenty of girls caught our eye, even if it our crushes were more ones of envy than lust. Therefore, I present to you the cast of what will hopefully be VH1's upcoming spin-off.

1. Jodie Sweetin

Meth addiction? How rude! This little Full House lady grew up to be quite the troublemaker, despite all those long, late-night chats with Danny Tanner (or perhaps because of them). After a nasty drug habit put Sweetin (aka Stephanie Tanner) in rehab, and with rumors swirling that she has fallen off the wagon, Sweetin currently finds herself in the middle of a custody confrontation with her former husband over her baby girl. Sweetin, whose post-Full House gigs have included hosting Pants-Off Dance-Off, is in serious need of a career boost. Could a VH1 show prove to be the cure? As Michelle Tanner might say, "You got it, dude!"

2. Stacey Q

Finish this sentence: Two of hearts, two hearts that...beat as one! Yes, you are correct.  Crazily enough, the singer of that song never achieved the kind of prominence one would expect from a synth-pop one-hit wonder from the mid '80s. I'm talking Stacey Q (who, incidentally, once guest-starred on Full House with Jodie Sweetin!). A quick read of her Wikipedia profile tells me Ms. Q has converted to Buddhism since she made it big with her hit song. She has also appeared in a "non-sexual role" in gay porn! Could a VH1 show be far behind? Let's hope not.

3. Kristy McNichol

Every lesbian's first crush! Oh, Kristy, how we've missed you since Little Darlings and Family and Empty Nest. Your adoring fans await your comeback. And let's face it. Compared to the other ladies on this list, you are a true teen idol. We all wanted your sassy spunk and your ability to tempt Matt Dillon way back when just as much as we want it now. Please, Kristy, come back and show the rest of these gals how it's done.

4. Staci Keanan

As a preteen, I used to watch Staci on My Two Dads and burn with jealousy. Why? She got to get down with Chad Allen, who played her boyfriend on this classic '80s sitcom. Granted, I didn't know at the time that Chad was as gay as the day is long, but does it really matter? He was hot, and Staci Keanan was the coolest girl around. I was so envious of her hair, her clothes, and her attitude. VH1, can you help rebirth this mid '80s bombshell? I think so!
5. Jenna von Oy

Okay, so I watched Blossom. It taught me not to wear big hats with flowers on them, and not to try to jump around and look cute while wearing big hats with flowers on them. But the main reason I watched Blossom was to catch a glimpse of Blossom's best pal Six, a hyper, rambling, boy-crazy chick with a heart of gold. Who didn't idolize Six? Who didn't wish she could have Six as a best friend? Who didn't wonder why the Hell she was named Six?