10 Signs You've Officially Become a Facebook Stalker
Posted at 5:00 AM Jan 05, 2009
By Bonnie Ruberg
Facebook stalking is a delicate art. Anyone who's stared a little too long and a little too closely at a friend's profile has thought to themselves, "Is this weird?" Even if you've got no moral dilemma with reading every intricate detail of someone's online life -- and lots of time on your hands to do it -- there's the issue of not letting on to the person in question just how obsessed you are.
Whether you're following a crush, an ex, or even the new crush of an ex (that bitch!), here are some tips for recognizing you've officially crossed over into Facebook stalker territory -- and from preventing the person you're stalking from figuring that out.
10. You know more about what someone did last night than they do.
Checking out a friend's party photos is an entirely legitimate, non-stalkerly Facebook activity. Checking out those photos the second they're posted, watching the person in question get progressively drunker, and then glaring at the girl in the low-cut shirt falling all over your stalker-ee: that's questionable.
9. You notice when someone's profile pic changes, and you're not even their friend.
Stalking someone you can't friend for social reasons -- your boyfriend's ex, whom you've never met, for example -- can prove challenging even for the most intrepid Facebook user. If that person keeps their profile private, sometimes you have to content yourself and your unhealthy obsession with staring at the tiny profile pic that comes up when you search for their name. Desperate? Yes, but stalkers can't be choosers.
8. You want to know who that girl was who left that flirty wall post.
She says she wants to catch up with him over coffee sometime. What does that mean? What does that MEAN?
7. You look at someone's photos so often you know their wardrobe better than they do.
It's always a little creepy when a boy you like walks into a friendly gathering wearing some particular sweater or shirt, and you find yourself saying casually, "Oh, I love that one. You've been wearing it a lot lately." Then you stop yourself, because you realize you haven't actually seen this particular stalker-ee in weeks. You've just been busy staring at his chest online.
6. You read wall-to-wall threads you weren't even a part of.
The "wall-to-wall" button was basically created for jealous Facebook stalkers. Click it and stare voyeuristically at a conversation you were entirely absent from. Pick it apart piece by piece. Learn to hate people you don't even know.
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Comments
check check check check check check check check check check
uh-oh.
Posted 12/22/2009 at 06:30:45 PMGod.... I do, like more than half of these..... And don't even have a Facebook page!!! (stupid parents.)
Posted 04/10/2010 at 11:54:12 AMI laughed a lot at a lot of these, but ohmygod WTH. I do all of them.
Ahhh, i have no life.
I feel so bad though, my boyfriend's brother is really hot and we have a lot of things in common (which i know by the so many looks at his page..), but we've never even talked, so i stalk him i guess. Ehhhg.
I found this website by looking up: How to stop stalking someone.
Posted 06/16/2010 at 06:12:58 PMHahaha.
:)
Posted 07/09/2010 at 01:31:25 PMTo stop myself facebooking my ex, but not de-friending him. I blocked his facebook page in my internet browser and had a friend set the password.
http://hackmystudy.com/how_to_block_specific_websites.html
Posted 07/23/2010 at 07:11:36 PMOh dear god, I'm a creeper.
Posted 09/03/2010 at 05:21:29 AMHAHAHAHA! Those were funny!
Yet, true. :|
Well, back to stalking him.
(BTW, Have you noticed that girls usually are the ones stalking? I guess we really are the sensitive & clingy ones. Sigh.)
Posted 11/19/2010 at 04:10:14 PMOK,
So I too came across this site by Googling how to STOP stalking someone. It's so comforting to know that I'm not the only one with this problem. (Now I don't feel so bad for having gained access to her facebook, myspace, twitter, youtube, AND yahoo accounts. (And I just found out about a new G-mail account that she just established, apparently a few days ago. I should have that soon! lol)
Posted 12/20/2010 at 05:17:50 PM@ Facebook Stalking my Ex,
THANK YOU!!!
My ex has already changed her relationship status to "in a relationship" with the woman she left me for!
I've been finding myself OCD about looking at her page and torturing myself with the newly uploaded pics of them together...
Short of un-friending her, I couldn't figure out a way to force myself to let it go... But... block the page!
brilliant.
Thank you, from all of us heartbroken folks who just can't seem to stop tormenting ourselves with news of our recent exes!
Posted 01/05/2011 at 12:32:57 PMI have been stalking this girl for the past 5 years, she had a hi5 account before...i used to look at her each photo she posted . She was then 15 and i was crazy about her . I had a fake hi5 account to stalk her. After two years, she abandoned hi5 and joined facebook. And this time i made a fake facebook account to stalk her. Though i never had my own facebook profile, i still use this page to look at her status, photos, wall, events and many more...and the funniest part of it is that she have never met me in real life.!
Posted 05/01/2011 at 08:59:36 AMI'm facebok stalking this one guy I really really like. He's fucking gorgeous and really really nice...but he won't talk to me. And we have a lot in common
Posted 05/08/2011 at 09:16:33 AMand we both ride the same bus
...I just can't get him to talk to me
I CHOPPED ALL MY HAIR OF FOR HIM!!
And i go to the Library every day to see if he's there. I only waste my money at Starbucks to see him. (Besides the DCCF)
ohhh shit!!! so many ppl like me confessing here !!!!I too came across this site by Googling how to STOP stalking someone...shit shit shit i always thought i was like no other
Posted 07/29/2011 at 07:14:26 AM