10 Perfectly Valid Dating Situations in Which You Feel Like Fatal Attraction's Glenn Close
Posted at 5:00 AM Jan 29, 2009
By Bonnie Ruberg
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Even if you're not crazy or obsessive and don't have giant '80s hair, dating can still make you feel like a desperate Alex Forrest eerily stalking her one-time lover. Maybe it's because girls tend to spend more time over-thinking relationships, or because boys are just plain oblivious, but plenty of rational, valid situations stir up the thought, "Wait, do I care way more than he does?" Soon, you're sitting by your phone, flicking a light switch on and off, crying away your makeup. But before you resort to slitting your wrists in order to get a one-night stand to stay an extra night -- because that's the reasonable approach, right? -- remember that you're not the only one stuck in situations that leave you wondering if you've turned into Glenn Close.
10. Playing it sexy and casual
You're out on a first date. The last thing you want to do is admit to the man sitting across the table that you're looking for someone who'll drop everything and cuddle with you for five hours when you feel sad and pudgy. Instead, you pretend to be laid back, flirty -- nothing too serious. The silent scheming has begun. Once you get him home you'll convince him that you're awesome and he should stay with you forever.
How many days are you supposed to wait after a date before calling up the lucky boy in question? Whoever buckles first and makes contact somehow loses face. Still, I often find myself sending an email the next day, attempting to appear nonchalant even though I'm clearly an overeager beaver. Don't you want to talk yet, huh huh huh?
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8. Being the one to always ask him out
Even if things are going well, it's tough not to get suspicious if you're the one constantly suggesting plans. Don't you want to hang out? How about now? Then you have to decide: stop making suggestions and see if he starts, or keep on being the invested planner and at least get to keep seeing him.
7. Online stalking him
This is pretty standard dating procedure in 2009 -- at least it is for me. Still, sitting at your computer, scrutinizing his Facebook photos, can get a bit morally fuzzy. Just remember: on your second date, don't let on that you already know everything about him.
6. Online stalking his exes
Yes, this too is standard practice. No, that doesn't mean it's much better than watching through the window while his family eats dinner, totally unaware of your presence. Really, you don't have to be worried unless you start shaking your fist at women you pass on the street who look like his old girlfriend.
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Comments
Bonnie...
Posted 01/29/2009 at 09:59:54 AMSounds like it's time for a little r&r away from the screen? Don't worry too much about it. Real life will intervene soon enough, leaving you not enough hours or opportunities in an average day to get a bathroom break and all your chores done, much less time give yourself a case of the psychic nettles.
Decaf, sister, decaf! Oh, and writing stuff other than blogs helps too. Even if it's never seen by another soul.
I feel you. and I'm a guy. what that says about me I'll let my therapist say.
good list.
Posted 01/29/2009 at 08:32:02 PM