Posted at 5:00 AM Dec 22, 2008By Jennifer Mathieu
Ah, the holidaze...get ready, ladies, because your favorite relatives are coming out of the woodwork, and they are going to Drive You Nuts. Here is our list of the 10 most annoying relatives ever...just stay by the eggnog all night, and you should do just fine.
10. The Aunt Who Wants To Know Just When Are You Getting Married?
Be ye single or with partner, no relationship truly counts with this lady if it doesn't come with a diamond engagement ring. When are you getting married? Have I got just the guy for you! Have you tried the Internet? I've heard it's where all the kids are getting together! Never mind that this aunt is trapped in a loveless marriage, she will still claim a drunk louse of a husband is better than no husband at all. Sure, lady.
9. The Cousin Who Wants to Convert You
Have you heard about this great new religion in which everyone wears white and we all give each other new names and sing songs and hold hands? I've got a pamphlet right here in my pocket. You really should come to a service with me while you're in town. It will change your life! Be warned. This relative can take many forms. If he's not pushing his religion, he's pushing Amway or she's pushing Mary Kay or what have you. Stay away!
8. The Future Mother-In-Law Who Just Doesn't Understand Why You Aren't Getting Married in a Church!
Praise be, did you say you're getting married...in a state park? Wha? I don't know if Father Flynn will find that appropriate. Wait, did you just say that you're having your best friend marry you? And she got ordained through the computer? Oh Lord, I feel faint. Henry, bring me a little glass of red wine.
7. The Brother Who Wants To Borrow Money
This is a sad one. Your brother finally moved out of the basement and is living in Topeka making his dreams come true in community theater. Only it's December 23 and he doesn't have any money for gifts, so could you spot him a $20? Better make it a $50. Sure, he'll pay you back as soon as he lands that next big part as a cashier at the local Target.
6. The Jerk Who Married Your Sister
It's not enough that he is a real pain in the ass and treats your sister like crap and has been unemployed for the past three months. It's that he can't quite understand that women have the right to vote. And he is positive that Obama is a Muslim. And those dang homosexuals are driving us all straight to perdition. Don't engage him, because you simply can't fight stupidity.
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