10 Annoying Relatives You Will Have To Deal With During the Holidays

Posted at 5:00 AM Dec 22, 2008

By Jennifer Mathieu

Ah, the holidaze...get ready, ladies, because your favorite relatives are coming out of the woodwork, and they are going to Drive You Nuts. Here is our list of the 10 most annoying relatives ever...just stay by the eggnog all night, and you should do just fine.

10. The Aunt Who Wants To Know Just When Are You Getting Married?

aunt.jpgBe ye single or with partner, no relationship truly counts with this lady if it doesn't come with a diamond engagement ring. When are you getting married?  Have I got just the guy for you!  Have you tried the Internet? I've heard it's where all the kids are getting together!  Never mind that this aunt is trapped in a loveless marriage, she will still claim a drunk louse of a husband is better than no husband at all.  Sure, lady.

9. The Cousin Who Wants to Convert You

Have you heard about this great new religion in which everyone wears white and we all give each other new names and sing songs and hold hands?  I've got a pamphlet right here in my pocket.  You really should come to a service with me while you're in town.  It will change your life!  Be warned.  This relative can take many forms.  If he's not pushing his religion, he's pushing Amway or she's pushing Mary Kay or what have you.  Stay away!

8. The Future Mother-In-Law Who Just Doesn't Understand Why You Aren't Getting Married in a Church!

mil.JPG
Praise be, did you say you're getting married...in a state park?  Wha?  I don't know if Father Flynn will find that appropriate.  Wait, did you just say that you're having your best friend marry you?  And she got ordained through the computer?  Oh Lord, I feel faint.  Henry, bring me a little glass of red wine.

7. The Brother Who Wants To Borrow Money

This is a sad one.  Your brother finally moved out of the basement and is living in Topeka making his dreams come true in community theater.  Only it's December 23 and he doesn't have any money for gifts, so could you spot him a $20?  Better make it a $50.  Sure, he'll pay you back as soon as he lands that next big part as a cashier at the local Target.

6. The Jerk Who Married Your Sister

jerk1.jpgIt's not enough that he is a real pain in the ass and treats your sister like crap and has been unemployed for the past three months.  It's that he can't quite understand that women have the right to vote.  And he is positive that Obama is a Muslim.  And those dang homosexuals are driving us all straight to perdition.  Don't engage him, because you simply can't fight stupidity.

Comments

Stonecrow said:

Hey, where did you get that shirtless picture of me?

sal said:

what about the perv uncle??? or the aunt who still smokes pot and denys it? or the worthes aunt who is in her late 50's and doesnt have a drivers license...

I love xmas!

ThaFame said:

Hilarious, I see most of these, which is why I do everything I can to avoid the holiday get-togethers. However, when I don't have a good enough reason or excuse, I end up being the drunken uncle, without the pinching though.

Keith said:

Spot on list. Except my dad (NOT my mom) is the one asking when my sister and I will get married and my grandma was at least polite enough to whisper her disdain of "coloreds" or explain that "coloreds are professionals now, don't be alarmed if you see one at the 5 star restaraunt we're going to".

Anonymous said:

the perv uncle is right! there's another list of simply ASSHOLE relatives. Pricks who are just passive aggresive about how they are better than you or simply keep bring up old grudges!

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