Top 10 Amazon.com Wishlist Items Sure To Freak Your Family Out

Posted at 5:00 AM Dec 02, 2008

By Andrea Grimes

If the thought of setting your loved ones loose in a mall with a few bucks and the intention of buying you a holiday present sends you into a cold-sweat 'n the shakes, an online wish list is the ideal prescription for your fever. Trouble is, spending a whole year idly adding items to a wish list ends up in a rather diverse set of wants. If you think it's hard to remember why you wanted that subscription to Goats Quarterly, imagine what your family must think. But it's too late now. Embrace your wish list, and leave the family members wondering about these 10 items that are sure to have them staring at you sideways this December. And at the very least, a list sweep will stock your place with some great conversation pieces.

To be sure, the fun of this one is mainly in putting some loving family member through the pain of actually entering their credit card numbers, one by one, with the hope of making you happy by paying for your (potentially lesbian, female chauvinist) pr0n. If anyone in the whole world is going to believe you read it for the articles, it's this gift-giver.

Yes, it implies needles, but it doesn't really come out and say it. Try to live up to the suspicions with your Christmas Day behavior. Grandma falls asleep at random, why can't you?

You don't have to say much about this one, just keep talking about working on your clown skills and what life will be like under the "big top" someday. Alternately, if anyone in your family is a Rennie, you know they will be unable to stop themselves from purchasing these for you. Because who doesn't want to walk around with the stilt girl at Scarborough Faire next year? Hope you like corsets!

This is a completely reasonable gift in a completely inappropriate product description. One look and somebody's uptight conservative relatives are going to start making gossipy phone calls, pronto. But the Intimate Epilator is merely a girlified hair removal system. I bet it doesn't even vibrate. Better get me one so I can find out for sure.

6. Pampers Newborn Swaddlers Diapers

Surprise, everybody!