Is breakfast the great gender divider?
Posted at 4:30 PM Dec 09, 2008
By Andrea Grimes
Pounding forehead. Fuzzy brain. Dry mouth. Hangovers are horrid, but luckily scientists have discovered a cure: a big, steaming pile of greasy food. Trouble is, I'm just not a massive fan of breakfast. In fact, I don't know a lot of women who'd pick a stack of pancakes over a savory snack. When I'm tucking into a hangover Rx, I always find myself scarfing down a hamburger while my man o' the hour opts for a traditional heap of eggs, bacon, toast and the like. Even the fabulous Jamie from this season's Top Chef proudly proclaimed in the last episode that she didn't do breakfast, either. So at the risk of making one of those sweeping gender generalizations that I hate, I'm gonna throw this out there: I'm starting to think that men like breakfast more than women do.
I've asked my man o' the hour to contribute to a little point-counterpoint exploration of the breakfast question, offering his views on morning munching.
This Heartless Doll: I'm willing to admit that breakfast has some tasty elements, namely bacon. But I think it's very clear that breakfast negatives far outweigh the positives. Breakfast foods get cold very quickly. Eggs can't hold heat for much more than a few minutes before they get gummy and icky, and a lukewarm ham steak is a meat fate worse than salmonella. Toast doesn't feel very nice on a sensitive morning tongue, and sticky, sweet syrup is too much of a challenge for a recently awakened palette.
Instead of traditional breakfast, then, I suggest what I like to call "food pile." Doesn't matter if it's a hamburger, a plate of spaghetti or a spicy wad of nachos so long as it doesn't take more than one utensil and is completely full of flavor. Forget spreading butter or jam. Don't waste time loading up your fork with the right pancake-syrup blend. Tuck right into a plate of food pile, and your tummy will thank you. Plus, food pile heats up easily for a post-nap snack later on. Mmm, food pile.
Man O' The Hour:You can't get very far in life without making choices. From the moment of birth it begins. Which nipple do I want to nurse from? The right one or the left one? Decision making inevitably gets complicated as one gets older, which is why its such a pleasure to be faced with easy choices. Easy choices like bacon, eggs, toast and hash browns. Faced with a plate like that, I'm more than happy to make a decision.
Breakfast is unique because of all the different foods that are normally crammed onto a single plate. I like to keep my eyes roving over the plate, thinking about what would compliment the ham steak in my mouth.
In this way, a plate of breakfast food is life miniaturized, life made easy. Let's say you're the governor of a Midwestern state and you've been trying all week to decide how much of a bribe to demand for an open Senate seat. That's tough. But once you sit down to a full plate of breakfast food, you are in control again, and all of your choices taste good.
Comments
Breakfast is the best meal of the day. Toast, cereal, muffins, cinnamon buns, and eggs!! My fav food would have to be waffles with whip cream. Its so bad for you but it tastes so good. Fuck syrup go with the whip cream!!!
Posted 12/09/2008 at 07:57:06 PMI'm a girl and I'm not a big breakfast person - can't stand anything but coffee first thing in the morning - but I love my hangover breakfasts (not sweet ones though). Eggs, bacon, hash browns and black pudding. Unbeatable, unless you add mushroom.
Maybe I fall somewhere in the middle of the breakfast spectrum?
Posted 12/10/2008 at 06:24:27 PMNo way! Your favorite meal of the day is more of a personal choice than a way to measure the gender gap.
Posted 12/11/2008 at 10:08:36 AMOnce a week while we were in college, my friends and I (6 women + 1 gay man) piled into our cars and went to the IHOP (huuuge student discounts on Wednesdays after 10:30 p.m.!). I don't think any of us ordered anything that wasn't breakfast food, unless we were broke that week or had a special craving for onion rings. We all agree that breakfast for dinner (or late-night snacking) is the most awesomest thing ever.
I also remember everyone eating a LOT of Dunkin' Donuts whenever Vagina Monologues rehearsals ran long.
Deborah, I will have to disagree with you there, I prefer my waffles with butter and maple syrup. But waffles themselves are indeed the superior breakfast food.
No way! Your favorite meal of the day is more of a personal choice than a way to measure the gender gap.
Posted 12/11/2008 at 10:08:57 AMOnce a week while we were in college, my friends and I (6 women + 1 gay man) piled into our cars and went to the IHOP (huuuge student discounts on Wednesdays after 10:30 p.m.!). I don't think any of us ordered anything that wasn't breakfast food, unless we were broke that week or had a special craving for onion rings. We all agree that breakfast for dinner (or late-night snacking) is the most awesomest thing ever.
I also remember everyone eating a LOT of Dunkin' Donuts whenever Vagina Monologues rehearsals ran long.
Deborah, I will have to disagree with you there, I prefer my waffles with butter and maple syrup. But waffles themselves are indeed the superior breakfast food.
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