Merry Xmas, now eat a teddy bear
Posted at 12:26 PM Nov 14, 2008
By Bonnie Ruberg
I should start this post by admitting I have an irrational hatred of Build-a-Bear. In an alternate universe, I would think they're awesome. If you've never been to one -- they're in malls across America, Europe, etc. -- they work like a little stuffed animal factory. You come in, you stuff your animal, you give it clothes, name it. It's pretty frickin' cute. Except that it's an evil capitalist empire. Basic explanation: I worked there for a year in high school, then went to college and took a class in Marxism. I still have nightmares I'm trapped in a late shift at Build-a-Bear.
All that is by ways of explanation of why I was quite so horrified to open up a recent Williams-Sonoma catalog and find a "Build-a-Bear Workshop cake pan." The pan sells for $39.95, and the kit to turn your bear into Santa Claus (complete with hat and bag-o-gifts) is an extra $19.95. Like Build-a-Bear itself, this cake pan, which makes 9" tall, 3D bear cakes, could be adorable. Then, when you stop and think about it, WTF?
How could you bring yourself to eat a three-dimensional teddy bear? You'd have to slice through him bit by bit, like one of those crazy anatomical, medical exhibits. "Oh look, I've got his snout. Delicious!" What do you think, is this just my Build-a-Bear bitterness talking, or is this actually weird?
