Top 10 Best Lifetime Movies Ever

Posted at 5:00 AM Oct 20, 2008

By Jennifer Mathieu

Ice cream, a hangover, and a good Lifetime movie. Is there any other way to spell perfect Sunday morning? Let us take a moment to honor of some of the best (or is that worst?) films to grace Lifetime's schedule. And yes, Tori Spelling does make an appearance.

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10. She Woke Up Pregnant

God, this title is marketing genius. Connie's just an innocent housewife who has a husband with a vasectomy. So how did she wake up preggers? Turns out her creepy dentist impregnated her while she was under. Ewwww… Like all good Lifetime films, this one was based on a true story. Glad I have a female dentist.

9. Too Young to Be a Dad

The son from There Will Be Blood is just a high school honor student mindin' his own when he gets semi-seduced by a fellow frosh, and they end up having uncomfortable, regrettable teen sex in her bedroom. A few weeks later… ding dong, a visit from the stork patrol. Kathy Baker plays the uptight mom who doesn't want to see her sweet son's future go down the drain. Hey, she should at least be pleased to know he has no intentions of growing up to be a dentist.

8. Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life

Just in case parents of teen boys weren't freaked out enough by Too Young to Be a Dad, they will be after checking out Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life. Justin is a high school student and all-star swim-team member who stumbles across a little thing called Internet porn. (Like we're supposed to believe he hadn't discovered it in middle school?) At any rate, he quickly becomes addicted to both porn and energy drinks, leading to several hilarious scenes in which he's guzzling some generic-looking Monster and viewing as much "porn" as Lifetime would allow to be shown. Kelly Lynch plays his hot mom who likes to go swimming with him. No wonder the kid has sexual hang-ups.

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7. Invisible Child

Hands down the oddest film to ever air on Lifetime… yes, even odder than She Woke Up Knocked Up. Rita Wilson stars as Mrs. Beeman, a mother of two…or is that three? Basically, she has two kids but for some reason (I've seen this movie twice and still can't remember why), she has created an imaginary third child, and the entire family goes along with the delusion, going so far as to fix the child a plate at dinner time. A British nanny shows up and gets sucked into the madness. Freaky!

6. Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

This might as well be Death of a Cheerleader or Co-Ed Call Girl or Deadly Pursuits or any of the other fine Lifetime films starring our friend and yours, Tori Spelling. In this one, I think she's in a cabin with some bad guy, and he's being very bad. And she's in danger. Like, "she could die" kind of danger! But she doesn’t die. At least, I don't think she does. Oh hell, who cares.

Comments

ranchoth said:

You forgot a classic: "Society's Child." It's...well...okay, it defies easy description. It's not even like a stereotypical lifetime movie, or even an over the top parody of one. It's like a Lifetime movie that got hooked on Absinthe and Peyote after coming back traumatized from the Spanish Civil War.

Most of the movie is centered around/from the perspective of a little girl with a neurological disorder called Retts Syndrome. It manifests—in the movie, at least—as the poor kid seeming crippled and acting vaguely autistic, although with perfectly intact mental faculties. We know that last bit because she has a dubbed in voiceover—by a different actress, to boot—as she keeps a running commentary on the life of her feisty, empowered single (usually single) mother , and talking with...well, it's either the ghost of, or the imaginary friend taking the form of, her stillborn baby sister who now looks like an eight year old *and* one of the children from Village of the Damned.

It's really more confusing than that, I promise. It also has a woman who's stomach explodes after she gets upset from hearing people fight.

Featuring Margot Kidder, and it's "Based on a True Story," to boot.

Yie.

Now, I'm an old vet of B-movies, lifetime and otherwise, but let me just say that "Akira" was less jaw-dropping AND easier to follow and summerize than this cavalcade of insanity.

Check it out when you have the chance, by all means.

Holli said:

Thank you!! I stumbled across Invisible Child on TV a few years back but had missed the beginning, the title, & had to leave without seeing the end. I've thought of it so many times since then (it was so weird I'd like to watch the whole thing sometime!) but it's VERY difficult to look something up without knowing anything pertinant about it! I've Googled what I know of it before without success, but this time came across your lovely list. :) Thanks again!

mama didnt raise no fool said:

i luv she's 2 young dat movie actually taught me sumthin....n dats very unusaul....im totally waitin till im married 2 hav sex im not sure dat i even want 2 kiss a boy...b/c they could b like nick frm she's too young n sleep wit every gurl n not even tell dem dat he has a std.

WAIT TILL ,MARRIAGE TO HAV SEX, IT WILL PROBABLY LESSON DA CHANCE OF U EVER GETTIN A STD, N DNT LISTEN 2 UR FRENDS, TRUST ME THEY R NOT AS EXPERIENCED AS UR PARENTS, N IF UR PARENT DNT WNT 2 TALK 2 U GO ASK A SKOOL NURSE OR BETTER YET GO CHECK IT OUT ON LINE. {{NOT EVERYBODI'S HAVIN SEX}}

babbyy said:

Mom at sixteen is the best movie you have listed. The red headed chick is Danielle Panabaker (:
She's Too Young is great too, I watch it everytime it's on!

Kaitlyn said:

I thought that thirteen was a lifetime movie.
It was one of the best movies i've ever seen, it should be on here. :-)

chelsea said:

Too Young To Be a Dad has always been my favorite lifetime movie. it might actually have been the very first lifetime movie I saw as well. It's also what let me to have such a mad crush on paul dano.

The Fab Five movie about the cheerleaders was good too.
So was The Pregnancy Pact.

chelsea said:

OH! so was Karla.

Nina said:

This is a throwback lifetime movie from 1990 "Too Young To Die" starring Brad Pitt & Juliette Lewis is a good movie, It's a true story.
Summary
stars Juliette Lewis as a benighted teenaged girl. She is married at 14, is deserted, and begins walking the streets at 15. Abused by virtually every man with whom she comes in contact (including her own father), Lewis commits murder--and finds herself on Death Row before reaching her 16th birthday. Michael Tucker is the attorney who pleads that his client not be tried as an adult. Despite all the horrendous wrongs piled upon Juliette Lewis in Too Young to Die?, her character fails to elicit audience sympathy.


"No One Would Tell" is a good as well starring Candance Bure (Full House) and Fred Savage (Boy Meets World).

a normal high school girl full of insecurities (Candance) who happens to land the class hunk. (Savage) is Bobby Tennyson, high school wrestler and all-around popular guy. When these two get together, Stacy finally knows what it feels like to be a part of the in-crowd and is so grateful she's willing to look past Bobby's numerous faults.

Their relationship starts off normal enough with Bobby wooing Stacy with flowers and love poems, but he gets progressively more possessive and jealous. Stacy initially thinks it's cute that Bobby is so protective until it gets to the point where he becomes overbearing and irrational. Even when he starts hitting her, she defends him to her friends telling them that you stick by the people you love. "Everything's fine" becomes her mantra even though those closest to her can plainly see that it's not the case.

Danielle said:

"She's Too Young" and "No One Would Tell' actually came on last night and I love those movies as well. I think Lifetime does a great job producing movies that are so relatable. It was another Lifetime movie that I'm in love with and it's "15 and Pregnant". I watched that movie when I was younger and now I need to go and find the DVD for the movie. I had some of my co-workers watching "She's Too Young" on my phone last night using the DISH Remote Access app. I work and subscribe to DISH Network and I use the TV Everywhere function to keep in touch with all of my favorite shows . It's great to have when you're on the road and you need a little bit of excitement to help you along with the trip. I use it when I'm not at home for a prolonged period of time and the app is free! It works with the iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad and Android devices. You can also watch pre-recorded or live TV! I am always recommending that people check out DISH Network and I am inviting anyone who comes across this post to explore the endless possibilities with DISH Network and experience a value unseen by any other TV provider!

*Danielle

nasreen said:

I HATE ALL THESE ASSY MOVIES

CAN U MAKE A GOOD 1
4 ONCE

Anonymous said:

bitch

neveah said:

woww they suck dick

katie said:

I don't understand, the list is title the 10 best lifetime movies ever but the way you worded all of them it sounds you DON'T like them like the one with Tracy Gold. You said it bummed you out and it was gross so how can it be a pick for the best?

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