Posted at 5:00 AM Oct 20, 2008
By Jennifer Mathieu
Ice cream, a hangover, and a good Lifetime movie. Is there any other way to spell perfect Sunday morning? Let us take a moment to honor of some of the best (or is that worst?) films to grace Lifetime's schedule. And yes, Tori Spelling does make an appearance.
10. She Woke Up Pregnant
God, this title is marketing genius. Connie's just an innocent housewife who has a husband with a vasectomy. So how did she wake up preggers? Turns out her creepy dentist impregnated her while she was under. Ewwww… Like all good Lifetime films, this one was based on a true story. Glad I have a female dentist.
9. Too Young to Be a Dad
The son from There Will Be Blood is just a high school honor student mindin' his own when he gets semi-seduced by a fellow frosh, and they end up having uncomfortable, regrettable teen sex in her bedroom. A few weeks later… ding dong, a visit from the stork patrol. Kathy Baker plays the uptight mom who doesn't want to see her sweet son's future go down the drain. Hey, she should at least be pleased to know he has no intentions of growing up to be a dentist.
8. Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life
Just in case parents of teen boys weren't freaked out enough by Too Young to Be a Dad, they will be after checking out Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life. Justin is a high school student and all-star swim-team member who stumbles across a little thing called Internet porn. (Like we're supposed to believe he hadn't discovered it in middle school?) At any rate, he quickly becomes addicted to both porn and energy drinks, leading to several hilarious scenes in which he's guzzling some generic-looking Monster and viewing as much "porn" as Lifetime would allow to be shown. Kelly Lynch plays his hot mom who likes to go swimming with him. No wonder the kid has sexual hang-ups.
7. Invisible Child
Hands down the oddest film to ever air on Lifetime… yes, even odder than She Woke Up Knocked Up. Rita Wilson stars as Mrs. Beeman, a mother of two…or is that three? Basically, she has two kids but for some reason (I've seen this movie twice and still can't remember why), she has created an imaginary third child, and the entire family goes along with the delusion, going so far as to fix the child a plate at dinner time. A British nanny shows up and gets sucked into the madness. Freaky!
6. Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?
This might as well be Death of a Cheerleader or Co-Ed Call Girl or Deadly Pursuits or any of the other fine Lifetime films starring our friend and yours, Tori Spelling. In this one, I think she's in a cabin with some bad guy, and he's being very bad. And she's in danger. Like, "she could die" kind of danger! But she doesn’t die. At least, I don't think she does. Oh hell, who cares.