Sad Bastard of the Week: incoherent bastardry
Posted at 1:36 PM Oct 07, 2008
by Andrea Grimes
Let's cut the grown-up bullshit and get down to some good, old fashioned teenage angst. Cary Tennis has the scoop over at Since You Asked from 17-year-old "John." I'm not even going to try and paraphrase this:
"My friend was playing his 360 and I was just watching him play, being quiet as usual when I'm not at my house, and my other friend said, "John, what you doin'?" and my reply was, "Chillin', chillin'." And there were a couple other people there that I didn't know, and when I answered my friend's question I heard another person say something like "but he only" and then she stopped what she was saying, and I didn't think nothin' of it. So we all went upstairs and one girl I know told me that I was quiet when I'm not at my house and I told her, 'Cause I'm a quiet person, and then she said something I didn't hear, so I said, Huh? and then she said, See, he doesn't ever know what's goin' on, and I told her, I do know what's goin' on, and she said, I'm not making fun of you, and I didn't know what she meant but then it hit me. I really didn't know what was goin' on and I realized that I just assumed she was making fun of me and I realized she said, I'm not making fun of you."
Cary appears to understand this, telling John that "I fixed up your spelling, but your letter made sense to me." Of course, Cary's solution is simply to tell the kid to talk to a teacher, but he does claim to understand it. I already know Cary Tennis is smarter than me, but he must also be psychic.
Ten points to the first reader who can translate this kid's letter into English.
Comments
Drugs? Sex? Seriously, what the hell?
Posted 10/07/2008 at 02:34:57 PMTranslation:
My friend was playing games and I was just watching. I was being quiet, like I always am when I'm not at my own house. My friend asked me what I was doing, and I said "just relaxing."
Someone else in the room said something (I think it was about me), but I didn't hear all of what they said.
We all went upstairs and one girl I know told me that I'm quiet when I'm not at my house. I said, "I'm a quiet person." Then, she said something I couldn't hear.
I said, "Huh?" and then she said, "See, he doesn't ever know what's going on." I told her I do know what's going on. She said she wasn't making fun of me.
I really didn't have a clue what was going on in that situation, but I kind of figured it out later.
God, is this what 17-year-olds are like today??? We're doomed.
My advice:
Posted 10/07/2008 at 03:01:39 PM1. Get your hearing checked.
2. Learn proper English.
Really, the first thing I thought on reading that was he definitely needs a hearing check. And maybe some new friends.
Posted 10/08/2008 at 10:17:43 AM