Sex is a great thing, you know? But Target. Well. Target is da bomb, ladies, and you know it. And I know it. In fact, I can think of 10 reasons why Target is better than sex.

10. Target's Dollar Stop Is Easier to Find Than Your G-Spot
The G-Spot. I'm sure it exists somewhere, right? But instead of spending your afternoon on the bed with a flashlight and a dream, why not head to Target's Dollar Stop? It's always right by the front door, and it's full of cheap, cute stuff for one or two bucks. The Dollar Stop isn't a myth, ladies, it's a reality.

9. Target Has More Variety
Isaac Mizrahi or Mossimo? Peach-scented candles or cream-colored stationery? A basket of apples or a jug of apple wine? Oh the variety, oh the options! You can't say that about sleeping with your significant other for the millionth time. (Oh, you want to try that position again? What a surprise!)

8. You Don't Have to Do Much For Gratification
Can you push a shopping cart? Can you walk? Then you can shop at Target. (Hell, even if you can't, you can use one of those riding shopping carts they have.) It takes no work on your part to enjoy the electric thrill that comes from shopping at the world's greatest megastore. Forget about the calories you could burn during sex. Just make one extra lap around Target, and you'll be fine.

7. Target Is Guaranteed Clean

That dude at the end of the bar looks pretttty cute, but by the time you get back to his place, we're talking a toilet from Dante's ninth circle and sheets that have been on his bed since the Clinton administration. At Target, they stick to that bathroom cleaning schedule, and they even have those wipes to sanitize the handles of the shopping carts. Bet you wish that dude from the bar had some of those wipes, don't you?

6. You Don’t Have to Get Drunk to Go There
And in fact you shouldn't. Because drunk driving is illegal and dangerous. So while you may have to tie one on before getting tied up by Mr. Right Now, at Target you can arrive clean and sober and ready to start stocking up on all things hip and cute.

5. Target Looks Gooooood…In the Morning, Too!
No reason to fear the other side of the bed when dawn breaks. Target always looks good, be it in the morning, the afternoon, and the evening. Sparkling, shiny, clean, and bright, Target's got it goin' on. Rowwwr!

4. Target Will Always Put You in the Mood

Just not in the mood for doin' it? We've been there. Hey, is it your fault there's a Project Runway marathon on? No. But Target, you seductive thing, you. Is it your red-shirt, khaki-pants wearing employees? Your adorable shoe selection? Your bulls-eye logo? I don’t know, but somehow, Project Runway doesn't look so good anymore.

3. Target Will Never Leave You Knocked Up and Alone
You can't get pregnant or chlamydia from Target, and even if Target could do those things, you'd be in the perfect place. Why? Because Target has a crazy cute supply of baby clothes and baby furniture as well as a pharmacy. But you don't need to even worry about those things because Target would never do you like that to begin with, right?

2. Target Puts YOU First
Target doesn't care about its needs. YOU are the customer, the consumer, the star. Target always puts your desires above its own, and for that we're grateful.

1. Afterward, Target Doesn't Fall Asleep
Most Target stores keep it happening until 10 p.m. Can you say the same thing about your husband?