Reply to Rant: I want to believe I don't care about the X-files movie

Posted at 4:00 PM Jul 25, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

As a fellow (ex)-X-phile, I too thought I should throw in my two cents on the new movie, X-files: I Want to Believe. Unlike Andrea, I don't care deeply enough about the film to warrant the outrageous cost of popcorn, no matter how much I save by coating it in more than my share of liquid butter. Here are five reasons why:

5. I have low expectations.

It's been years since the end of the series, and even more years since the last X-Files movie. While I used to adore the show -- its doubting, conspiratorial mindset and its brooding, slow-cook sexual tension -- it went to hell in the last season, when David Duchovny (Fox Mulder) and Gillian Anderson (Dana Scully) jumped ship. Granted, now both co-stars are back, but judging from the reviews, the quality of the old episodes sure isn't.

4. I have high expectations.

After so many years of loving the X-Files, of admiring Scully and lusting after Mulder, why should I shatter those fuzzy, pre-teen memories with a soberingly bad new movie?

3. I'm not one of those people -- at least not anymore.

Given my low expectations for the film, what would it say about me if I still went to see it? It would say that I'm that desperate to see Mulder and Scully smooch, which I sort of am, but... No, no, Bonnie, no! Be strong!

2. I'm bitter they're appealing to my inner fangirl.

That part of me that's still tempted to see I Want to Believe feels angry and cheated. I know the movie won't be any good (it's apparently lacking in plot, action, development, you name it), but the X-phile who watched every new episode like a giddy school girl -- possibly because I was a giddy school girl -- doesn't like having her emotions messed with.

1. I'm even more bitter Mulder never showed up on my doorstep in 1997.

I still haven't forgiven him for that. Therefore, you sir, though you may be fictional, will not be receiving the cost of my admission ticket. However, I may still download your movie and drool over you in the shameful privacy of my own home.